Let's Talk

Oh Father I can't, I can't get through. I've been trying hard to reach you, cause I don't know what to do.


Man life is pretty messed up eh? I have been having some psycho issues with stress lately. I've been through tougher times in my life then now - for sure - but for some reason there was this massive stress build up that was attacking me on an almost daily basis. When I think about it - things shouldn't be THAT stressful for me right now, but for some reason my body has hit the panic button on a number of occassions due to stress.

The other night I thought I was going to literally fall to pieces and I'm not even sure what brought it on. I just finished playing a game of poker and I was going to bed and a huge wave of panic hit me. I really wish I could explain the feeling and I'm sure someone out there has experienced something similar, but the best way to describe it would be just sheer panic. The only thing I could think of other than screaming my lungs off was looking at old pictures I had in my room and just trying to rewind to an earlier point in my life.

It's weird because I'm pretty happy right now, I'm healthier than I've been in a long time because I've been exercising at the GYM and running 5-6 times a week, and I have been doing pretty darn well in school too. I just came off a pretty severe bought of insomnia over the strike break, but since then I've been sleeping like a baby mostly and I've been getting along with Danielle fine too.

The whole situation doesn't seem to add up but I imagine there's a good reason for it all...I guess lately I just haven't given my self a chance to just stop and think about what the heck I am doing lately or even reflect on how far I've come. All I know is stress is a pretty scary thing when you dont' deal with it. It doesnt' matter how healthy/happy/or anything you are, it can still creep up on you and smash you upside the head if you let it.

I can't help but feel that if I hadn't started exercising recently my body might of not handled the stress as well. Here's to exercise and good health.

Amen

Booya-casha

It's about 12:47 pm and I just got back from 3 tests at school. I think I didn't pretty darn well on all 3 so a lot of stress has just lifted away....ahhhh feels good.
I'm sure more stress will be coming soon, but that's 4 tests this week and 4 good marks so I can't ride that wave for a week or so.

Other than that, it's a pretty nice day out today so I might have a little run and then maybe go in the backyard and try to get some sunshine on this pale body of mine. I find it strange that I can be dark in the summer and then I'm all of the sudden casper the ghost by midwinter.

Well this is all I got for now, I better run before I decide I'm too lazy.

Peace out ladies and gents.

Back to reality

The strike is over (which is suppose is a good thing) but the mad rush for finding a decent co-op position is on. I think we're going to stay a week late in school to make up for lost time and just miss exam week, which is fine, but it's going to mean my shop class is going to be a huge pain to try and make up. It takes me long enough to complete some of the projects and now it will be even more of a rush. I suppose I can make up some extra classes so I shouldn't get too bent out of shape. It just seems there's so much to worry about for the next few weeks, it's going to be a stress factory for the next while.

Suprisingly though, today I am quite calm and contented in spite of the fact that I have to spend a few solid hours studying some mind-numbingly-boring stuff. My main concern is just getting a solid job this summer....More and more I am thinking that I would rather get a high paying non co-op job then a low paying school related one. Who knows though, I will be happy when that is sorted out either way.

Well...Better get at it...

sigh

To the Rap War brothas

You wanna run wit my crew, hah?
Rule the rhyme world and crunch lettas like I do?
They call me the king of the e-leet
got all my lyrics printed out on my bed sheets

Think you gunna be a big rappa?
tryin' to get yo thrillz with all yo ghetto chatta
Droppin' all these lines tryin' to cre-ate laffta?
Are you good or bad? I'm afraid it's the latta

These rhymes you writin' are just a disaster
I see you rubbin' yo heads tryin to make them think fasta
While your brains is crashin, mine is multitaskin,
it does all my work without me even askin'

and I know that it killz
but Y'won't be payin' the billz,
with yo poor' artistic skillz.
Ya'll be throwin' dice for thrillz.

So what I'm sayin to ya'll is so simple and clear
Think yo betta then me? Get tha F--- outta here'!
Straight up - I'll just leave you this tip from the masta
don't mess the best or you'll lose like a bastad.

Word...Life

Engineer, slow down this old train.

Another day, another blog, and more writers block.

One would think it would be easy to come up with something intelligable to write, considering I don't write very often. I guess not.

I'm just going to start typing and see what comes out. Here I am typing away at 60 words per minute (Give or take 40 words per minute).

So....I'm on my break right now. I haven't really done anything productive the entire week. Not unless you call playing poker, eating pizza, drinking coke, and watching friggin American Idol, productive. Nope I really haven't done much that the average person would proud of. I suppose I shouldn't be too hard on myself because this is a time to relax and regroup for the rest of the term, but it's been a while since I've accomplished so little in one week. I haven't even really seen much of Danielle so it's not like I've been able to score a ton of brownies either.

Am I bored? Not really, I don't get bored very easily because I can always think of something pointless to do. Trivial is my middle name....actually today it's W...for winner, because I won a few poker games. haha....

Yes this is my life right now. I'm sure I'll look back in a couple weeks and be like "Why didn't you use this time more wisely?". The answer is simple. My name is Scott Black.

Fax Jockies Spinnin' Green Webs

That title makes no sense.....
Or does it?


Your thoughts?

What exactly is there to write about

Hmmm I'm not exactly sure what there is to write about today. I am waiting for my computer to finish formatting and I have nothing better to do right now, but I can't think of anything interesting to write about.

I should be doing homework pretty soon. I'm so annoyed at this project that is due tomorrow, I really have no frigging clue what I'm supposed to do with it. I could get an A - I could fail - I have no idea that's the frustrating part. The teacher that gave us the assignment really gave us very little instruction on what to do. A couple weeks ago he had a heart attack though and now we have a different teacher...It's kinda messed up.

On a side note if you ever wanna see a good movie go out to your nearest video store and get a copy of "The Burbs".